Broken Wings

 brokenwings

  My heart bleeds

I am a wounded soldier
Beaten by the dragons of war
Tested and tried
And I failed
Torn between pleasing Master and pleasing man
I fail…
I fall face down
Do not forget me here in this pit
For I’ve fallen
My wings, broken
My sight blackened in the darkness
My hearing stuffed by their sneerings
My light snuffed out!
Lift me up or I will be forgotten
Left to waste in the depths of Hades
Raise me up or I’ll be consumed
By the hungry growling of ravenous beasts

Twenty-four hours ago my soul suffered a torment and this morning my spirit suffered a separation from His presence like I’ve never known it before. I found myself weeping like a child because for the first time in my life I could tell that His presence had lifted. I was choking. Remorseful, I remembered Esau and I prayed that my case wasn’t as detrimental. Sometimes we take for granted the warnings and prodding and nudging of the Holy Spirit. And sometimes in order to test what we cherish most, He withdraws. Hides. He wants to get your attention. Sometimes our insensitivities lead us into forbidden territory, and by the time we exit on the other side we realise that we are alone. Where has my Shepherd gone?

You’ve lost the trail. And now you must retrace your steps.

This morning, I cried like a baby, as my soul sought the one whom my soul loves. And He was no where to be found. I followed His scent in the garden but He was no where to be found. The above poem is a tribute to Him, to say, I will please no one more than I please HIM. And it is a tribute to myself to obey His warnings, and prodding and nudging NEXT TIME.

Where has my Shepherd gone?
Who has seen Him whom my soul loves?
I can still smell His perfume,
Upon the handles of the bolts.
Surely He was here,
But now He is gone.
Hidden from sight!

I hear the Lord say to me, Be ye separate! Be ye separate! And I believe He is saying it to us all! Be ye separate!

I am like a dry and thirsty land
Seeking the Lord
As the deer pants after the water brooks

Shalom!

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